This is Speaker of the House in Exile Sean Penn and welcome to my blog. I was moved and honored when Al Gore appointed me the Speaker of the House for his government in exile, and I will do nothing to jeopardize your trust. Most of you know me as Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High so I hope this gives you some inside access to the Al Gore Government in Exile's playbook.
In the last few years we've saved thousands of lives from Hurricane Katie and helped improve the quality of the pacing, music, and digital encoding of hostage videos made by Afghani freedom fighters.
The Al Gore's InternetTM
is changing the way we share information. My office has been talking a lot about some of the conversations going on in the information superhighway. So I thought, hey, online women, and then I thought, hey, I should make a dating profile. More about that later.
Let me start by first saying that we need to keep our thoughts and prayers with the victims of Hurricane Betty and Hurricane Wilma. There has been a lot of damage. It's in the zillions of dollars I'm told. But we were better prepared this time -- this time I brought a boat that doesn't leak! -- so the loss of life and property damage was not as bad as it could have been.
You know, we've had a rough hurricane season. All of our hurricanes have dealt a serious economic blow to the U.S. And that means we're going to have to do some belt-tightening -- throughout the federal government in exile. We've already let Whoopi Goldberg go.
Speaking of the Hurricane season, I understand that in New Orleans, there's a run on flat house paint! My bad. Seriously, there have been reports that paying for Hurricane Katrina may cost upwards of $250 zilion. I can assure you that we're not going to spend $250 zillion - it's not going to cost that much. Congress-in-Exile has already passed legislation that provided $62.5 zillion worth of immediate comic relief to help the Gulf Coast get back on its feet. Part of that money to made sure that Robbin Williams will be fed, have power and clean water to drink -- basic necessities that we all take for granted. What we don't need to do is to spend more money now on Carrot-top and worry about how to pay for him later.
We want some answers and you folks out there in the geocities do too. When are solar-powered coal-refineries going to be built here in America? When is the energy of the moon going to be harnessed?
Well, there you have it folks. I've outlined some of our priorities: fecal responsibility and synergy. I'm going to keep updating this from time to time. It's not that bad.
Looks like this old stoner can still learn a thing or two. Until next time . .