Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Al Gore: Assinine

LONDON (Reuters) - Global warming poses an enormous ethical challenge because countries that produce the least amount of greenhouse gases will suffer the most from climate change, scientists said on Wednesday. "Those most at risk from global warming are also those least responsible for causing the problem," said Jonathan Patz of the UW-Madison's Nelson Institute for Environmental Studies.

Patzy, this is a good example of people not thinking outside the box. If those countries that produce the least greenhouse gases will suffer the most, then clearly the solution is to have them produce more greenhouse gases. See, Patz, that's why you work for the Nelson Institute and not the Patz Institute. There was an ethical problem and I solved it. I'm a problem solver. I solve problems. Yep, I'm Mr. Fixer.... What? Great Caesar's Ghost! No, Tipper, I will not fix the toilet. You make a mess, you... hire a plumber, woman, jez.

When the UN finally recognizes the work of my team at Al Gore Labs, I believe an appropriate response would be the awarding of the Nobel Prize in Horticulture. Maybe, this year to celebrate all the trees, for the first time in a dozen years, we'll get a Christmas tree. Maybe I'll get a Hummer. Probably shouldn't write that.


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