Al Gore: Memoir Research

In writing my memoir, I've had to do some research. I've been trying to see what went wrong in Florida in 2000. I want to know republican women and soccor moms inside and out, top to bottom, and get behind this issue, and on top of it. So I signed up for a republican dating service, hoping to get to know these women and what makes them tick, for my research needs. I need to know their secret political turn ons. Unfortunately not a one has accepted my requests to go out on an exploratory date, so I'm having trouble getting a feel of things. I thought maybe they saw me as out of their class, so I changed my profile from "extremely handsome" to just "very handsome", and I took out the part about one of my turn-on's being armpit hair. [I do love real earthy women.] Still no one has accepted. I'm thinking about fibbing a little to get the balls rolling. You know, tell them I invented sliced bread, or something.