Al Gore: Public Apology

I'd like to apologize. In 1995 I wrote and signed the secret Gore-Chernomyrdin protocol, which allows Russia to continue to sell weapons to Iran, a country that is building nuclear weapons, and destablizing the whole world. I kept the Gore-Chernomyrdin Protocol secret until 2000, when I ran (successfully) for President. For this I apologize. In hindsight it was a foolish move. It takes a big man to admit his mistakes, and anyone who has seen me lately knows I am not exactly petite. But it takes a bigger man to fix his mistakes, and that is exactly what I am going to do. So it is with great courage that I humbly announce that I am officially ending Operation Count All Votes in Florida and instead focusing on Operation Get Russian Officials Drunk and to Strip Clubs So They Stop Selling Weapons to Iran. I have a calling for public service and my public awaits! I hope Tipper understands.